Tips on Dealing with a Cancer Diagnosis

October 18, 2010 07:31 By Dr. Marla Shapiro
This week kicks off our cancer series and today, we are focusing on diagnosis. So here are my tips on dealing with diagnosis and your doctor.


Having walked this mile, I have been on both sides of this examining table. Here are some of the lessons I learned along my journey and wrote about in my book "Life in the Balance: My Journey with Breast Cancer."


Don't panic!
I have to admit that was my first reaction. Being a doctor does not protect you from the emotional havoc. It is normal to be afraid but embrace it and then try and let it go. Panic won't let you hear and won't let you breathe both of which you have to do. 
Understand not all cancers are the same.
This is important to remember. For example my breast cancer, just as other breast cancers, had unique identifiers. This includes size of the tumor and grade of the tumor. Hormone receptors, state of the lymph nodes and so on all give unique identifiers to your cancer. This is really important to know as it will guide YOUR treatment. So what your friend or neighbor had is not all that relevant to you!!
Identify who your medical team leader is.
This is your go to person for all those questions you have. This should be your trusted advisor so you can ignore all the other so called free advice everyone else has for you!
Involve your family doctor
If you have a family doctor involve her or him. This is someone who knows you and can help support not only you but your family as well. 
Stay away from anecdotes and webpages that are not evidence-based.
This is so important. While research can be helpful, there is a lot of trash on the web too. Be careful about the source of information.
Ask your health care providers to speak in clear understandable language 
Us doctors tend to speak in language that we understand. It is not a question of "dumbing" anything down. It is about knowledge translation so you understand the advice. 
Check back by summarizing what you hear and bring another set of ears with you to appointments. 
Always check back to make sure you really do understand. Having someone who can listen helps. Often our anxiety gets in the way of really hearing what we are being told. 
Understand that treatment options mean there is no one clear right answer.
This can be really difficult to accept. You might be offered different treatment options. For example I could have had radiation or a mastectomy based on my particular cancer. Sometimes it is hard to understand that the   treatment arms offered are equivalent based on current evidence on outcome. I was given a great piece of advice from Dr. Susan Love. She reminded me that if both treatment arms are equivalent, than sometimes the best we can do is figure out what is an emotional fit as well.  
Realize this is a journey not to be taken alone 
Everyone is impacted and allow them in to help. 
Involve your friends and family to help take away chores and tasks 
This is practical advice. The cooking, the cleaning, the car pools... there will be days when you cannot do these things. Accept help. 
Remember that your family and friends in a sense have been diagnosed too 
I truly thought that this was all about me initially. But cancer truly does impact everyone. Let your friends and family in. By allowing them to support you, you are supporting them too.  
Clear your plate of expectations
The only expectation is that you get through treatment. Don't clutter your life with other unrealistic expectations. Everything else can go on the back burner. Do what you can do and what you want to do.   
Have a clear idea of what side effects to expect and how to minimize them 
There were some side effects I just was not aware of. For example one of my chemo drugs gave me  constipation that was just horrible. Anticipating a side effect and knowing what to do about it is critical. 
Have a designated person that can rotate and take you to chemotherapy 
I went alone the first time! That was just plain crazy. Having company helps, even if you fall asleep!
Talk about the emotional impact and keep the lines of communication open
Anger and fear are to be expected. 
Don't stop living, waiting for life to be normal again
This is your new normal. Lots of people asked me when life gets normal again. While it might not be a great normal or only the present normal, it still is your life. Don't stop living. Make the adjustments you have to but don't curl up and disappear.
This is the beginning of a journey that you must not take alone. And as I found out, courage finds you when you least expect it.


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