How they battled cancer together
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As Mother’s Day approaches, two inspirational women, Lynne and Sarah Lynas, a mother and daughter who have both battled cancer at different times, tell AUDREY WATSON how their special bond helped them through their illnesses and brought them even closer together
MOTHER and daughter Lynne and Sarah Lynas from Newtownabbey have always enjoyed a wonderfully close bond – going on holiday as part of a group of mothers and daughters and sharing the ups and downs of each other’s lives. This loving relationship was never more evident than when they were both diagnosed with cancer, first Lynne in 2007 and then her eldest daughter, Sarah two years later, in 2009.
It was just before they set off for one of their regular trips that Lynne found a lump in her breast.
Having worked as a fundraiser for Action Cancer for 10 years, the 47-year-old mum-of-two had encountered lots of information on self-checking and the signs and symptoms of breast cancer, and knew immediately that something might be wrong.
“It was just before Christmas 2006 when I first found a lump,” recalls Lynne. “Although I was concerned, I didn’t panic and left it a month to see if it had changed in shape or size, but it didn’t.
“We went holiday to South Africa in early 2007 as planned and when I returned, I scheduled an appointment with my GP. I had a number of friends who were suffering from breast cancer and recognised the signs.
“My doctor agreed that I should have further investigations and I went to the Ulster Clinic for a mammogram followed by a scan and needle biopsy. Only two hours later, I was told I had breast cancer and needed a mastectomy.”
Although deeply shocked and frightened, Lynne was determined that she would not let the disease rule her life or ruin the many forthcoming happy events that she was looking forward to.
“My first thought was, ‘but we have so much planned - family occasions, holidays, my mum and dad’s 50th wedding anniversary...’
“I decided that although I couldn’t control what was happening, I could control how I handled it and was determined not to let the illness get in the way of my life.”
Even though it was only days after she had undergone major surgery, on Easter Saturday, 2007, Lynne and her family had a picnic on Portmuck Beach near Islandmagee, a tradition that they had all enjoyed for many years.
“I insisted we all go and carry on as normal,” recalls Lynne.
Eldest daughter Sarah was distraught when she heard that her mum was seriously ill, but it was a week before the terrible news began to sink in.
“When mum told me about her cancer, I almost felt that I couldn’t cry because she hadn’t,” remembers Sarah. “She was so optimistic – there was no point in taking a negative viewpoint. That wasn’t going to help anybody. But a school friend’s mum had passed away from the same disease, so it really brought it home to me and made me realise what could happen.
“Mum’s surgery took place on April 2, 2007. We were told that she had grade three cancer and would require chemotherapy, radiotherapy and two cancer drugs.
“She was amazing – she managed really well with the treatment and stayed positive throughout the whole thing and kept her wonderful sense of humour.
“One day mum came home from being out and in the middle of chatting with my little sister Rachel and I and she just whipped off her wig revealing a freshly-shaved head and yelled: ‘Look at this!’ and burst out laughing. We hadn’t realised that she had been out to get a wig fitted and was wearing it – it was identical to her own hairstyle.
“We all just laughed out loud. It was almost like we didn’t have a choice. Whenever it’s happening to you, you just have to. You either laugh or cry.”
After enduring a gruelling treatment regime and recovery period, by January 2009, Lynne was in remission and by February was able to return to her job as a dental technician on a part-time basis.
Lynne, her husband Dave and daughters, Sarah and Rachel (who was only 11 when her mum was diagnosed) all thought the worst was behind them and were looking forward to getting on with the rest of their lives. However, a few months later, cancer returned to cast another shadow over their lives, this time when Sarah became ill.
“It was only a few months after mum had gone back to work that I started to experience chest pains - a burning pain right behind my chest bone,” remembers Sarah, now 21.
“We initially thought it might have been asthma, but I was also feeling extremely lethargic so knew something else was wrong.
“We made an appointment with the hospital, but ended up requiring an emergency appointment the night before, as the pain became so bad.
“On first observation they decided to keep me in. The next day I had a chest X-ray and was immediately admitted. The X-ray revealed a dark shadow in my chest cavity.
“The shadow turned out to be a tennis ball-sized tumour behind my breast bone and I was told I had B Cell Lymphoma and needed chemotherapy straight away.
“It was all very surreal. We were all in disbelief, but my mum had been an inspiration to me when she had been ill, so I followed her lead.
“I had no control over this disease so just had to deal with it as best as I could and I drew a lot of my strength from mum.
“Before my diagnosis, I had completed one year of a psychiatric nursing degree. I planned to take a year out from my studies due to the cancer and then resume my course, but I started to feel really low - not because I had cancer, but because I was only 20 and was watching all my friends going out and partying, living their lives.
“My behaviour changed. I started to talk myself out of doing things, kept over-thinking everything, considering every possible outcome before deciding to do anything. During this low point, Action Cancer really helped me cope.
“Both my mum and I had been going together to Action Cancer House in Belfast for complementary therapy and it was through these sessions that my therapist noticed how low I was feeling and recommended that I go for counselling.
“There had been so much stress and so much information that although mum and I were both coping well on the surface, deep down there was a lot of emotional stress that needed to be dealt with. That hour of complementary therapy - being able to unwind, to switch off and experience complete relaxation between running from hospital to hospital for appointments was priceless. And to talk to someone with no connection to the family - just to be able to off-load on to somebody was very therapeutic.
“A part of surviving cancer is the fear that it will come back, so I found my counselling sessions very beneficial to talk through my concerns. Although mum and I talked about our cancers in depth with each other, it was good for me to talk to someone impartial as well.
“Being a patient and experiencing first hand both the physical and mental effects of cancer made me aware of how beneficial support services, such as complementary therapy and counselling following a cancer diagnosis can be.”
Thankfully, Sarah is now more than a year in remission. And she was so impressed with the benefits of her sessions that she has decided to study to be a counsellor herself and is half-way through the course which will finish in time for her to continue her psychiatric nursing degree in September.
For Lynne having just endured the disease herself, learning that her beloved eldest daughter was now suffering from the same illness was an unbelievable shock.
She recalls: “Before Sarah was diagnosed, I knew something was seriously wrong. Her skin and hair began to look dead – it was as if something was sucking the life from her - yet I was still in complete disbelief when we first learned that she was now suffering from cancer herself.
“But we had already been there and we all had seen the positive results. We had learned that cancer wasn’t the life sentence it used to be. We’d get through this again step-by-step.
“As mother and daughter we were always very close, even before our illnesses, but I suppose this has given us something more in common.
“We both agree that cancer is a strange thing – coming through it makes you a different person. It definitely changes you. I think it puts life into perspective and makes you enjoy everything that little bit more and worry a lot less.
“I’ve realised that the most precious thing is time and what you do with it. Being together and sharing experiences is very important to Sarah and me.
“Between our ladies’ lunch club, our regular shopping trips and holidays away, we are very much involved in each others’ lives. We spend a lot of quality time together, enjoying and investing in each other.
“Mother’s Day never goes unmarked in our home, whether it’s a card, a box of chocolates or perhaps breakfast in bed if I’m lucky.
“It is a special day and I enjoy the treats, but now, every day is special.
http://www.newsletter.co.uk/lifestyle/features/how_they_battled_cancer_together_1_2541425
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