Secrets to Surviving a Cancer Diagnosis and Treatment: Observations of an Oncologist
By Jame Abraham, M.D.7 hours ago
Three weeks after her 54th birthday, while taking a shower, Maria felt a lump in her right breast. Initially, she tried to ignore it. But when it started pulling the skin and causing a nagging pain, she mentioned it to her husband, Bill.
He immediately encouraged her to see a doctor. It was all too familiar for Bill; his sister wasdiagnosed with breast cancer few years back. Unfortunately, he knew the painful sequence of events that would follow.
Their life turned upside down in a matter of 24 hours. Maria had mammograms, a biopsy and was seen by a team of doctors. Maria's daughter was getting married in seven months; she was supposed to help her only daughter with the wedding planning. Bill was planning to retire by the end of the year, as soon as the wedding was over.
But they quickly realized they wouldn't be in control of planning their days ahead. Instead, their future was now being planned by a group of doctors and nurses at the cancer center. A strong feeling of loss of control and unpredictability quickly seeped into their life.
Initially, they hadn't planned to tell their daughter about the cancer. But it became imperative that they not keep it from her. The next day, their daughter flew in to be with Maria for her appointments. She came prepared with questions about the treatment plan and prognosis.
Soon they were convinced they were with the right team of doctors that were focused experts in breast cancer. They worked together as a team. They even left the door open for a second opinion, if Maria prefers.
Maria learned to trust the team; she knew they had her best interest in mind. Treatment was not easy, but her focus was the wedding in seven months. Throughout the treatment, she tried to work as much as possible and dedicated a lot of time to wedding preparation.
Bill and their daughter stood by her side for much of her treatment. It was not easy, but Maria made it through.
Cancer is not an easy diagnosis. In the past 15 years of taking care of patients, family members and friends, I have become intimately involved in this very tough and intense emotional journey. It is fascinating to see how each person and family face such a life-changing diagnosis.
Some patients are outright negative and angry and really struggle through it. Others breeze through with a smile.
Cancer and its treatment can take an emotional, physical and financial toll on anyone. Once you have a diagnosis, it's not easy to wish that away. We can ask questions to try to understand why for a while, but not forever. We can question the treatment options, but not every step of the way. Getting upset is not going to get you anywhere. But it is real and unfortunately, you need to face it.
Making decisions about cancer treatment is almost like traveling in an airplane. When you are on a flight, you need to trust the pilot and the airplane. If you question every tremor, and up and down, of the plane, you will be totally paralyzed throughout the journey. You just have to trust the pilot and the plane to take you to the right destination safely. Jumping out of the plane isn't an option.
Patients who deal with a cancer diagnosis in a positive manner tend to do five things:
1. Find the right team and a champion for you, and trust their recommendation.
2. If needed, get a second opinion.
3. Surround yourself with the people you love.
4. Focus on your life rather than the cancer or cancer treatment.
5. Try not to compare your story with your neighbors; your treatment and prognosis is tailored for you.
The most important decision you can make in your cancer treatment is to find the right doctor and the team for you. Do your homework, investigate and even consider a second opinion. Once you have done the due diligence and are satisfied, trust you've made the right decision.
Having a diagnosis of cancer is not fair -- just like life. Don't delay or put your life on hold because of cancer treatment. Keep your focus on living your life, and not on the cancer.
Dr. Jame Abraham is the director of the Breast Oncology Program at the Taussig Cancer Institute, and co-director of the Comprehensive Breast Cancer Program at Cleveland Clinic. Follow him on Twitter @jamecancerdoc.
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