Cancer Changes Your Life - But it Can Change You For the Better!
Written by Dr. Roy Williams
Undeniably, the most dreaded phrase worldwide is: "I'm sorry but your (or your loved one's) test results show cancer." These deadly words are repeated in countless physician offices, hospitals, and unfortunately even over the telephone each day. As a Medical Oncologist, almost daily I have to look into the yearning eyes of an anxious soul and try to clearly, concisely, and most importantly compassionately deliver the undeniable facts.
The following questions are usually asked (although not always spoken aloud):
- "Are you sure?"—Yes.
- "Why me?"—We don't know exactly why but it is more important to talk about where we go from here.
- "Am I going to die?"—I can tell you the statistics, but you are more than a number.
- "Will I suffer?"—You have my word that I will always do my best to prevent that.
Cancer is certainly a life changing diagnosis. The mere mention or suspicion of the dreaded "C" word naturally starts the mind uncontrollably racing considering the future. The first concern is the physical deformities of surgery, then the suspected nausea of chemotherapy and radiation. Next follows the feared financial ruin due to the loss of income and the unconscionable expense of treatments. Pain and misery are thought to be the only guarantees. Most devastating are the feelings of personal responsibility and guilt. Many sleepless nights may ensue due to spiritual questioning and spiritual insecurity.
I am frequently asked "How can you stand to be a cancer doctor?"
The answer is complicated, but quite simply—I am inspired by the courage, strength, faith, generosity, and even the humor of cancer patients and their families.
My following experiences will explain what may initially seem like an impossible statement:
- Paul was driving to my office for further chemotherapy for his metastatic cancer when he was nearly run off the road. Paul followed the driver to the next signal light and got out of his car. I cannot imagine what the driver thought when Paul tapped on her window to tell her that one of her tail lights was not working. Paul told me "I didn't want her to get hurt."
- Fred liked to remind me that I had foolishly told him that I expected that he might only have 3-6 months to live—2 ½ YEARS later. He asked me: "Doc, I don't understand. I'm ready and don't know why that I'm still here." His loving wife of 64 years came to be diagnosed with leukemia. He devoted all of his remaining strength to keep her at home during her final days. Fred told me after she died: "Thank you Doc. I understand now."
- Jackie was nearing the end of courageous battle with leukemia when she told me that she made her funeral and burial arrangements. She grinned when she told me she picked out a mahogany casket, but that "there is not a lot of leg room."
- Rick was a young man with an aggressive terminal cancer. His church raised funds so that he could afford to go to a Medical Center that might be able to treat his cancer. Rick asked to use the proceeds to be used for a simple backyard pool. He spent his last summer playing in that pool with his wife and children.
- Susie loved gardening and flowers. Although her treatments had ravaged a once beautiful young woman, she still lit up any room she entered—just like her flowers. She raced to plant her final garden, although she knew that she would never she the flowers bloom.
- Mary and James had drifted apart after almost 20 years of marriage. Mary was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer that required equally aggressive treatments. James realized that he could lose the only person he could always depend on and the love of his life. Mary forgave James for everything that he was not and loved him for the man that he was. They renewed their wedding vows during her treatments.
- Jim had fought a long war with his cancer. There literally were no reasonable remaining treatment options. I didn't know what to say to Jim and his wife. Jim read the news from my face when I opened the door. He reassured me: "It's OK Doc. This cancer is the BEST thing that ever happened to me! It's made me closer to my wife, to my Church, and to my God."
- Bud had lost his daughter-in-law and granddaughter to cancer. He was losing his war with lung cancer. His grandson saw the toll that cancer had put on his family, but heard the loving terms in which his family described the Oncologists that "tried to help them." He wanted someday to make a difference. Bud was my beloved grandfather.
We are all familiar with the injustices and cruelty of being diagnosed with cancer. We cannot escape the harrowing headlines, magazine articles, television specials, and obituaries. I have however found that being diagnosed with cancer can strengthen a person's outlook and attitude, their marriage and family, but most importantly their relationship with their God.
I have shared with you some of my experiences. I want to hear how the diagnosis of cancer may have IMPROVED your life.
Please beware, I will repeat them...
Bio:
Roy Allen Williams Jr MD
Medical Oncologist
PinnacleHealth-Fox Chase Regional Cancer Center
Medical Oncologist
PinnacleHealth-Fox Chase Regional Cancer Center
Why am I an Oncologist? A former colleague succinctly states it best: A Doctor does not choose to be an Oncologist—Oncology chooses you.
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