Amy's America
One girl, infinite adventures…
Make mine a double
April 18, 2012 by altatwood
Why do we never take our own advice? Someone close to me recently had to make a life-changing decision – nothing would ever be the same either way. She was really torn. Like this, there was no good decision – the options both sucked in their own way. It seemed so simple to me: either try the 10-10-10 method from Suzy Welch (thanks to Kristen for buying me that book!) , where you consider how you will feel about a decision in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years (or similar), or simply pick a choice, convince yourself you’ve made the decision and live with it for a few days and see how it makes you feel. She listened to me, did some considering in her own way, and then made her decision and stuck to it.
So here I am with this major decision, trying to figure it out, and did I even remember what I told my friend just days ago? Of course not! Not until I ended up doing one by accident. And it did work, because it clearly showed me where my heart was. Here’s what happened…
Today was pre-op. I went to work in the morning and then to the hospital for meeting after meeting after meeting.I still wasn’t sure if I was going with the single or the double. I hate being indeceisive, but just wasn’t sure. I wanted clarification on the money part, though, before finalizing anything, so I called my health insurance. I was told that they would only pay for the left breast if it was deemed ‘medically necessary’ – so if it also had cancer. Well, there you go. I do not have thousands of dollars to do the other side. So it will just be one. The decision was made for me. And… my heart sank. But I knew there was no debating with her, so I said thank you, took the reference number and hung up. I’d have to accept that.
Fast forward to the hospital. I filled Mom and Mark in while waiting for the first appointment. We went in and spoke to the woman about the surgical consent. And there on the first line: bilateral mastectomy. I explained to her what the health insurance had said, she said she would need to get a new form, and called my surgeon’s office. Since she wouldn’t be able to talk to them for a few hours, we were sent on to my other appointments and told she’d catch up to us with the right form later in the afternoon.
So as we went to the different meetings, I digested the fact that it would be a single. And that I’d have to keep coming back here and continually checking the other breast. And going through all the tests. And then the worry any time anything unusual showed up. And the possibility of having to do it all over again. And (sorry – vanity) that I wouldn’t match. It just sucked, and felt like this is only the beginning – now it’s really never going to end.
At the last appointment (anesthesiologist), we met back up with the original (surgical consent) person, as well as talked to my surgeon’s assistant. Their news: my health insurance cannot deny me. It’s part of the Women’s Health and Cancer Rights Act – they have to pay for all related to the other breast, too, to make it symmetrical. To mom and Mark’s surprise, I immediately smiled, said yes, I want the double and signed the consent form. Living with the thought of only having a single, even for those few hours, showed me my true feelings. We all discussed it a bit, I explained, and the anesthesiologist said more and more younger women are electing this, so they don’t have to live with the constant fear of reoccurrence. And the younger we are, the longer we have to live (we hope) and so the more chance we have of it showing up again. No thank you, I want to be done, at least as much as possible.
Another bonus to my decision? I just learned I won’t have to take the Tamoxifen for five years, so there won’t be that concern if I’m ever again in a place where I want to have another child (don’t worry Nick, I’m not there yet!). But it is nice to have some positive options in my future…
Oh – and something that surprised me: tonight at dinner Nick said he knew that was what I was going to do. He turned to Alivia and she confirmed that he said that a week ago. He said that he knew I, like he, would want to do everything I could to just be done with it. And he was right. Like mother, like son. Next time maybe I should ask him what I should do? Hmmm… will really have to think about that one!
Posted in Cancer, Decisions | Tagged breast cancer, decisions, doctors, mastectomy,reconstruction, tamoxifen | 9 Comments »
The results are in…
April 17, 2012 by altatwood
I should be happy. I should be elated. I should feel better. I got the results of the BRCA genetic test today and it’s negative – no mutations were detected. So I won’t be passing it on to my future granddaughter or nieces, which is the one part I AM overjoyed and infinitely thankful for. And of course I’m glad there’s not the likelihood of ovarian cancer, so I can keep my ovaries. So why am I not jumping for joy?
Because it means I have another damn decision to make. If the genetic test was positive, it would’ve been a double, plain and simple. The decision would be made. And early on I thought it was clear that if it was negative it would be a single. But then I went and spoke to people and read a ton, both discussion boards and other research, and so many people (including doctors and those who’ve been through it) recommend doing both anyway.
Their reasoning? Those who do just one have to be tested every six months. And they go through the worry all over again each time. And put their loved ones through it all over again. And then when there is something detected, it’s more biopsies and pain and stress. And God forbid it does appear in the other breast – it’s everything you’ve just been through repeated. This is not fun and not something I want to do again. And there are the cosmetic reasons too: doing both at once is easier to match and feel better about yourself in that way.
Why do some only do one? Less invasive – avoiding doing a possibly unnecessary surgery. Less pain and recovery time. To keep one natural breast, so you retain the feeling and the opportunity to breast feed if a baby is in your future.
So I don’t know. I’m so sick of options when there isn’t a clear one and none are good. Again, I hate all the options, and again, doing nothing isn’t one of them. Tomorrow is my pre-op so I will talk to my surgeon and see what he thinks. And I’ll also look into things more with my insurance. And I will make a decision. Because I have to.
Posted in Cancer, Decisions, Uncategorized | Tagged breast cancer, decisions, doctors,mastectomy, reality | 13 Comments »
A week of distraction and denial
April 15, 2012 by altatwood
This week I pretended I don’t have cancer. It was much like the first six months of being 16 and pregnant when I simply pretended I wasn’t pregnant (yes, really, six months for those of you who don’t know the story). You’d think I’d learn that ignoring something doesn’t make it go away. (And in that case I thank God every day he didn’t go away!) Well, this time it was just a week and there’s nothing I can do about it anyway, so why not ignore it?
It was an easy week to do it. It was my first week since finding the lump that I didn’t have even one doctor’s appointment! Work was crazy busy as usual so I was able to stay busy with that. And, even more distracting, a couple of my loved ones had serious issues of their own that I was distracted by and wanted to help in any way I could. I so prefer to focus on others than on me.
I am a fixer. I try everything I can to help solve everyone’s problems and just want to help make everyone happy. But I know I can only do so much. There are some things I can’t fix – both for others and myself. And some people don’t need my help or want me to fix things for them. Sometimes you just need to give them space to do their own thing and be confident they know you’re there if they need or want you. And there are some things only prayers, well wishes and positive vibes will help. These are all things I have to remind myself when I see those close to me in pain.
It was back to reality yesterday as I realized what day it was: exactly one month from when I found the first lump. I can’t believe it’s only been a month – it seems like a lifetime. Only two weeks until surgery, and so much to do before then. I expect to hear the results of the genetic test early this week, have an appointment with my GP for a vaccine and some other tests one day, and my pre-op another. Makes it a little harder to pretend it’s not happening…
Decisions, decisions
April 3, 2012 by altatwood
So it took me a little while to get past the fact that I hate all the options: frankly, they all suck. But since I have to (as Pete says) ‘choose life’ I have to pick one. And the doctors really weren’t much help. Well, at first it seemed pretty clear: mastectomy would be the best choice. Least chance for it to return, possibility of no radiation or chemo, best chance for a somewhat normal looking breast. Longer surgery and recovery process, more painful – but I can deal with that.
So last Tuesday, as we made our rounds, by the time we got to the reconstructive plastic surgeon, I was pretty convinced it was the right move. We waited over two hours to see him and then got about 10 minutes of his time (after the video), in which he threw me a curve ball: basically said that he could never make a breast as good as a real breast and that if it was him he’d do everything he could to save his real one and to try the lumpectomy first. What?!?!
I don’t know about you, but I wanted a really confident – cocky even – plastic surgeon who would tell me how beautiful I would be when this was all over and that I wouldn’t miss it at all. Ha! Not even close. So it pissed me off and I just wanted to forget the whole thing. Then I remembered that is not one of the options. Which pissed me off even more.
So I calmed down a bit on Wednesday, and on Thursday called my breast surgeon asking for a referral to a different reconstructive plastic surgeon. She was shocked. “But Dr. H is the best! We’ve never gotten one complaint about him and he’s the very best at breast reconstruction.” She assured me that she’d get another referral for me, but also asked if she could talk to Dr. H’s admin about it, as she was sure he’d want to talk to me again. I agreed, conceding everyone has a bad day.
Long story short, he called and we spoke for about 45 minutes. He was genuinely sorry we got off on the wrong foot, but he also wanted to be clear that he cannot perform miracles and only God can make a real breast. This will not be the same and I shouldn’t expect it to be. I probably won’t have any feeling in it. And while he will do a lift on the other side (should I be lucky and not have the gene and have to do a double), they won’t look the same. Yes, this sucks, but it’s also better than having one that is much smaller than the other from the radiation and also has a huge chunk taken out of it – nothing normal about that either!
I realize I’m being vain. That I shouldn’t worry about how it will look and only be concerned with my health. I’m sorry but I can’t help it – I plan to live and thrive after this and I want to be happy with myself too, and hopefully be able to stand looking at myself. I guess we’ll have to see about that part.
Anyway, after our talk I agreed to see him again – and that appointment was today. Tara joined me this time. He was very similar to before – all business and straight to the point, but I got it this time. We talked through the procedure, which will be the tissue expander option. Basically after the breast surgeon removes my breast, he’ll start to put me back together, inserting the tissue expander (like a balloon). Then over a couple of months I’ll go in periodically for saline injections. Once the skin has stretched enough, I’ll have another surgery to put the implant in. And then a few months later will be nipple reconstruction. And the lift on the other side so they somewhat match. Yes, a long road – let’s hope the lymph nodes are clean so we don’t have to add chemo or radiation!
So I am now scheduled for a double mastectomy on April 30. We scheduled for worst case scenario because it’s easier to take the time off and just do one if the gene test comes back negative than it would be to add the time. It’s so late in the month because I asked what was the latest I could safely push it off to because I need some time to get my head around it all, and to get things in order at home and work (although everyone is so supportive and has assured me all will be fine and not to worry about it).
I feel better this way. I have time, I can get things in order, I have a plan and know, for the most part, what’s going to happen. I know, I know, the best laid plans… but you can’t blame a girl for trying, right?
Posted in Cancer | Tagged breast cancer, decisions, doctors, lumpectomy, mastectomy,radiation, reconstruction | 8 Comments »
Another perspective
April 3, 2012 by altatwood
To help me on this strange new journey I’ve been forced to take, my good friend Vicky took the time to share her own cancer story. I am sure you will be as inspired by her and her family’s strength and courage. She was just 19 and was giving birth to her baby when the cancer was discovered. Read more here:http://mycrazylife37.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/reflection
I am still in awe, and so thankful you are here today, Vicky! xoxo
Thank you – two little words that will never really describe how grateful I am for all the incredible people in my life. My family, friends, co-workers, past and present – I don’t know how I’ve gotten so lucky to always be surrounded by such caring, supportive, thoughtful, intelligent people! (Yes I’m talking about YOU! And ok, you are funny and gorgeous, too! 
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The outpouring of love and support over the last two weeks has been completely overwhelming. From the notes on facebook, texts, letters in the mail, e-mails, tweets, phone calls, office chats, lunches, dinners and long walks – I am so grateful to know how much you care. Seriously, if cancer can be beaten by prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes and general well-wishes, we’ve got this won hands-down. And I believe it can be.
So while sometimes I will get bitchy, bossy (as normal, right?), depressed, weepy and weary, know that deep down I know this is not the end of the world (I won’t let it be) and that I am endlessly thankful every minute of every day for every single one of you…
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
A crash course in cancer
April 3, 2012 by altatwood
I know I’m not going to do this entry justice – there was just so much to learn and absorb on my first day at Dana Farber! So I’ll try to share, but please know that medical stuff is not my forte! I never wanted anything to do with the medical field (left that to my mom, Mark, Heather, Tina, Tara, Steven, etc.) and still would rather not. But now I don’t have a choice. Ugh. Bottom line: this certainly is not that medically accurate, rather my interpretation and transcription of the notes I took throughout the day…
Tuesday, March 27: Five doctors in eight hours. And barely a minute to breathe (or eat) between sessions. You really should be given a certificate or something after to show you made it through the day! Luckily, many of them said the same thing, just in a different way, so that by the end of the day we thought we pretty much got it – at least mom and Mark did. I was (am) still in shock. (Not quite sure that will ever really go away.) But I have to say – they were pretty much all great (with a minor exception that I’ll get into in a later entry) and I really appreciated being able to see them all in one day. I’d much rather jump in then drag this out!
We saw:
- Breast surgeon
- Medical oncologist
- Genetic counselor
- Radiation oncologist
- Reconstructive plastic surgeon
I don’t think I’ve ever undressed, got examined and redressed so many times in such a short span of time. Luckily it was one thing I anticipated so I dressed for it and was down to less than a minute by the end (although to be honest we didn’t time it but I’m pretty sure). For the most part (other than the genetic counselor), it was: say hello, undress, examine me, get dressed, talk about my situation, draw a picture (doc- not me, thank goodness as I’d fail that test), explain options, ask questions and leave me to mull over my options on the way to see the next doc. (At least the reconstructive surgeon threw in a video, too – but no popcorn.)
So basically:
- Invasive ductal carcinoma in two places in my right breast
- Grade 1 – slow growing on the aggressive scale
- Stage 2A – size (because one of them is more than 2 centimeters. One is about 2.3 centemeters and one is 1/2 centimeter)
- They won’t know if it’s spread until they do surgery and get into my lymph nodes (breast cancer tends to like liver and bones)
- My cancer may not react to chemo – sent away for a test to see for sure. So I may get to keep my hair, which would be a plus. And I’ve heard how horrid it is; it would be a blessing to be spared of at least that…
- Strong positive for estrogen and progesterone so will need to be on antihormone therapy for five years after – so no chance of any more children until I’m at least 43. (I hope none of you keeled over hearing that statement from me. I know I’ve pretty much said I was done but I don’t like my options being taken away!)
Options are:
- Lumpectomy where they will cut both masses out, as well as some around it to be sure they got it all. Day surgery with about two weeks recovery time. Then radiation every day Monday through Friday for six weeks. You can’t have any reconstructive or plastic surgery with this one. (No spackle to fill in the hole, as the doctor said one patient asked.) So there will just be a big dent/hole, and the radiation will shrink my breast, too. The chance of it coming back ranges somewhere between 6 and 10% depending whose stats you go with. Could do this in a week or two.
- Mastectomy where they will take the entire breast and build me a new one. (Multiple types of reconstructions – another decision to be made if this is the winner.) About five days in the hospital, with 5-6 weeks recovery time. May be able to get away with no chemo or radiation. Approximately 3% chance it could come back. (Better odds but not as much of a clear winner as I’d heard.) Could do in three or so weeks.
Then there’s the genetics stuff. The question is, why did I get breast cancer when I’m ‘so young’ (at least for this) and no close family history (my mom’s cousins only)? So there’s a chance I could have what some call the breast cancer gene. BRCA1 or 2. Basically, if I have it, I should have a double mastectomy because there’s more than 50% chance I’ll get it in my left breast too. And up to 40% chance I’ll get ovarian cancer (oh yay). And worst of all, a good chance my future granddaughters or nieces will have the same gene. (I can’t even think of that.) So the test has been ordered and we should find out by the end of next week or so. (It takes up to 14 days at some place in Utah.)
So much to think about. I was completely fried at the end of the day, as were mom and Mark, although they seemed to be in better shape than me. They dropped me off, I called dad and Maggie so they wouldn’t worry, and then I went to dinner with Tina and Mike so I could explain it all to both of them at once rather than rehashing multiple times. That definitely helped because they got me out of the bitchy mood I was falling into as I really hated my options. They made me smile and laugh and somewhat forget about things for a while – and then when we did get into it, they asked the right questions, made me think and even convinced me it would be ok no matter what I choose…
Posted in Cancer | Tagged breast cancer, diagnosis, doctors, lumpectomy, mastectomy,radiation, radiology, reconstruction | Leave a Comment »
Tuesday morning, March 20: My phone rang. It was my doctor. “I know you didn’t expect to hear from me until later this week, but we were afraid it was going to be the worst case scenario and it is. Invasive ductal carcinoma.” “Which is…?” I ask. “Invasive breast cancer.” Oh. I was already texting with Mike. He appeared in my office and we Googled it as soon as I was off the phone.
I was in shock. But she was pretty clear: she wanted to get me in with a breast surgeon as soon as possible and would call to schedule it herself so there was no delay. I made my own calls or sent texts to those I knew would kill me if they didn’t know immediately.
Wednesday, March 21: The surgeon was initially scheduled for April 2, but my doctor was concerned that was too far. So she got one to see me the next week, March 27. But that night over dinner, Kristen made me promise to get at least a second opinion at Dana Farber, where her brother Greg was treated and where they have a special program for young women with breast cancer. Of course Beth Israel is great, but it never hurts to get a second opinion, especially at the world-renowned cancer institute.
Thursday, March 22: By 10 a.m. Kristen had an appointment for me with a team of doctors at Dana Farber. The soonest available was April 4, which concerned me a bit since my doctor had thought April 2 was too late. But I called and talked to the patient coordinator at Dana Farber anyway. She understood my concern, but also warned me not to rush into anything and that it should be fine to have a second opinion then. I asked to be put on a waiting list and she assured me she already had my name plastered on her computer, but asked me not to get my hopes up as they never get cancellations. “I understand,” I said. After all, I certainly wouldn’t cancel that appointment!
It was less than an hour later that my phone rang again. “I know you didn’t expect to hear from me – I didn’t expect to call you – but we just had a cancellation for this Tuesday. And it is with the director of breast surgery, among others.” Done. Thank you, Kristen! Now it was just waiting five more days.
I told people. As one person put it: it makes sense, I’m a communicator. I wanted people at work to know why I wasn’t going to be there off and on for a while (although I didn’t know when or for how long, just that it would be lots of doctors’ appointments, then surgery, recovery and then possibly chemo and/or radiation). And I wanted my family and friends to know what was happening – I didn’t want anyone hearing it through the grapevine, if I could help it. And I wanted them to see and hear that I was fine. Really. I can beat this.
I think that has been my biggest coping mechanism to date: telling people and assuring them I will be fine, no matter how bad it turns out to be. If I promise that, then it has to be. I do not break promises, and I don’t make ones I don’t believe I can keep. I know I may not have real control over this, but I do believe all of the positive thinking, prayers, good vibes and, most of all, love emanating from everyone I know must be more powerful than some stupid cancer!
Back to the beginning
April 1, 2012 by altatwood
Wednesday, March 14: Nick and I flew home from a few days in L.A. visiting friends. We were exhausted. Our plane had to make an emergency landing in New York because there was fog in Boston and the plane didn’t have enough fuel to circle. (WTF, right???) So it added many hours to our already long journey. I pretty much collapsed when I got home, but something – I have no idea what – made me think: I haven’t done a self-check for breast cancer in months. I should do that. So I did.
I always wondered if those self-checks were even worth doing. I only do it once a month – and in this case, it had been several months. I can’t even remember the last time I did one. Would I ever actually notice something different? If you’ve ever asked yourself this (and both women AND men should be doing them once a month), the answer is yes. You will notice it. I couldn’t quite believe it. I felt the lump on the outside of my right breast, and didn’t really believe it. So I felt the same place on my left breast – is this normal, does it feel the same on that one? No and no. I kept going back and forth, still not sure.
I was texting my cousin Tara at the same time. “I just found a lump on my right breast. But I’m sure it’s nothing.” “I’m sure it’s nothing, too. It’ll be fine. But go to the doctor just to make sure.”
Thursday, March 15: It was a crazy morning at work, even more than usual since I’d been away for a few days, even though I had my computer and did some work during my trip. It was lunch by the time I got around to trying to find a doctor. I hadn’t found one since I moved into the city and since Nick uses the car to commute to school, it would be impossible to keep my old doctor who is over an hour away. I was just starting my search when Tara texted: “I’m sure you’re very busy, but please call your doctor.” I assured her I was working on it.
I found a seemingly well credentialed female doctor on Berkley St. I called, they said she was accepting new patients and I explained my situation. I went in that afternoon and was glad I did. She was great. Asked many questions (including if it hurt – I said yes, but probably because I kept poking at it to see if it was really there and make sure I wasn’t bothering her for nothing) and was the right mix of concerned but reassuring. And action oriented: she wanted me to go to Beth Israel for a mammogram (my first) the next day.
Friday, March 16: I left work early to go to my appointment at Beth Israel. A few people asked if I wanted them to go with me. No – why would I? It’s just a mammogram. I can handle it. Well, the mammogram turned into a breast ultrasound – which is much easier than having your breast squeezed flat between hard plastic/metal whatever (so not fun, although the woman doing it was so nice, cheery, sympathetic and distracting). During the ultrasound, a second (smaller) lump was found. I listened as other doctors were called in to consult. I heard “not cystic” and my heart sank a little. That was what several people had told me it probably was: “It’s probably just a cyst. My aunt/mother/ex-boyfriend’s cousin/neighbor had one and it was all fine.”
The lead doctor turned to me and said, “We’d like to biopsy both of these. Can you stay?” Uh, yes. Do whatever you need to do. Take them out now, for all I care. Just get this whole thing over with! “Is anyone with you. Do you want to call someone?” No, but I’d be fine. I just wanted to get it over with.
Thank goodness Doreen had told me what a biopsy was! Forewarned was definitely forearmed in this case! Everyone at Beth Israel was wonderful and thoroughly explained everything, but definitely in more medical terms. Doreen gave it to me straight: Huge needle. Painful. Not fun. And she was right.
Before she left the room, the lead doctor said we’d probably get the results Thursday or Friday of the following week, and she would go call my doctor now to update her on the events of the afternoon. Then she told me one more thing, “You’re a young woman. I have to tell you: whatever is in there is not good. It’s going to have to come out. Please prepare yourself for breast surgery.” Okay…
I left with an ice pack clutched to my breast and two more in my bag. I’d be bruised and hurting for at least a few days. I settled in on the couch as soon as I got home. Nick, Alivia and Kevin had some pizza with me, went and got me tylenol and a frozen yogurt, then went out. Several people offered to come over and keep me company but I was so tired, in shock and just needed to be alone. I couldn’t believe this was my life. Still can’t.
Unbelievable
April 1, 2012 by altatwood
I still can’t believe it. I guess I’m in denial. It feels just like it did when I was 16 and pregnant. This can’t be happening to me. This happens to other people. Not me. Not young (ok, maybe 38 isn’t exactly young, but it’s young for this!), healthy women with no family history. Breast cancer. I’m so sick of it already. Yet here I am writing about it! Only because I have to. I have no choice. The journalist in me is mad at myself that I didn’t start documenting everything two and a half weeks ago when I found the first lump. (Yes, I found it, and yes, there are more then one – I’ll go into all that soon.) I’ve also felt guilty for awhile that I’ve neglected this blog. So now the blog is evolving with me. It’s going to be about a different type of journey now – more of a life journey than traveling from place to place. Feel free to unsubscribe if this just isn’t your type of thing. (I’d like to unsubscribe myself.)
It just didn’t feel right giving all of my updates on Facebook- and I know not everyone is on Facebook (right, Dad?) . So I’ll put major updates here instead, and you can either subscribe by clicking the ’Sign me up!’ box on the right, or check back here every now and then… Thank you for sticking with me on this journey. I know it’s not going to be fun like the last one, and certainly won’t have similar photo ops, but it will be … real.
Lessons learned from 83 days on the road
December 6, 2010 by altatwood
Today is the first morning I’ve woken up with nothing definitive that I have to do. It’s been a whirlwind since I arrived home last week: my grandmother’s service, my nana’s 99th birthday, celebrating my cousin’s pregnancy, picking Nick up at Salem, bringing Steve to the airport, bringing my parents to the airport, bringing Nick back to Salem … People keep asking if it feels strange to be home. I don’t think I really realized I wasn’t leaving again until today, now that everything has calmed down and there isn’t anyone here who needs me.
And it’s ok. I say I don’t have anything to do, but that’s pretty much never true. I already have plans for nearly every day this week. And I only have a month left of the leisurely life: I’ve just accepted a job, so it’s back to work on January 3. As I said before, I didn’t want to return to the corporate world unless everything fit – the job, the people, the overall package, the timing, the location – and it all seems right. I’m very excited about it; it’s a really challenging opportunity doing all facets of communications. I really can’t wait to get started!
So I need to take advantage of this next month. Ultimately, I want to move into the city, but I have to sell the house first. It’s off the market for the winter. I have a lot of decluttering to do! It’s also Christmas time, of course, so plenty to do there. And I have to pay a visit to Volvo – it wasn’t poor Aidan that broke, but the power outlet in my car. My, this month is going to fly by!
But before I delve into all my new to-do lists (Nick just showed me an article where Heidi Klum talks about all her lists – he pointed out I’m in good company), I have another list I want to share: my lessons learned. I’ve spent much time reflecting since I realized the road trip was ending. What was the point of this? Am I changed at all? Did I learn anything? Well, there were many reasons to go on the road trip – first and foremost to see the country. I think I did a pretty good job of that. I caught up with friends and family around the country. I tried to quell the ‘empty-nest’ syndrome. I also was exploring my ‘what if’ – and got my answer.
My lessons learned:
- Never say never. I am pretty stubborn, so when I say never, I mean it. I now know I can’t say never any more (even ‘I’ll never get married again.’) Life changes too much for anything to be that definitive. You need to be flexible and go with the flow. You need to adapt to what life throws at you, and not stick with something just because you’re too stubborn to admit it might not be the best thing for you (or others) any more.
- If you want to do something, just do it. You can do anything you set your mind to. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your situation is. Yes, there will always be obstacles, but think it through and you can get around them. And there will always be reasons not to do something, but if the good outweighs the bad, go with it. There were so many reasons NOT to go on this road trip. I’m so glad I made it happen anyway.
- You can never have too many friends. If it weren’t for all my friends and family spread throughout the country, I couldn’t possibly have taken this trip. Thank you all – it was so good spending some time with you, although most visits were too short. Please know there’s always a bed for you in Massachusetts!
- Your kids may leave home, but they always need you. I should’ve known that one – I always need my parents. Good thing I have four of them!
- Life isn’t a fairy tale or a romantic comedy. Sure, if we’d yelled ‘cut’ on October 4 or 5, it would’ve had the perfect happy ending. They’re only classified romantic comedies because of when the movies end. If the cameras keep rolling after the dream kiss, reality sets in. Then they become dramas. Or tragedies.
- Distraction can help you get over hurt, but it won’t cure it. Only time can do that. And with time comes clarity. The person you thought was Rhett may just be your Ashley.
- Everyone has a story. And they are all fascinating. Ask questions. Get to really know someone. Even someone close to you, who you thought you knew. You may be surprised. It was wonderful exploring different places and taking pictures of everything from Mount Rushmore to the Pacific coast, but it was the conversations I had along the way that really made the trip.
- Boston is where I want to be. At least for right now. I’ve spent too much time away from all my loved ones here. I need at least a few more years with them before I try living elsewhere again. And I love this city, from its sports teams to its history to its location on the coast.
- Everywhere is worth visiting. Depending on your time limitations and your interests, not everywhere is worth driving out of your way for (like the Mall of America for me), but every state has something special to see – even if it’s as simple as an old farmhouse or a Superman statue.
- It’s nice to do some things alone, but sometimes it’s just more fun to have a partner in crime. I am very glad I took this trip by myself, but am also thankful for the times friends played tourist (or tour guide) with me.
- Route 66 is definitely worth its own, separate trip – just map it out first, because it’s not easy to follow. And it is easy to lose!
- You can drive any distance if you have the right soundtrack! Good music – with a few good audio books thrown in – make time fly. And there is a song for everything. Especially country songs.
- Think before you shut your car door. Especially if the only things around are cows. I’m just saying…
- Plans were made to be broken. You can do your best to plan out a trip like this, but you have to be ready to take a detour every now and then, even if it puts you on a new route and disrupts your timetable. Otherwise you could miss out on some of the best parts. Remember the road less traveled…
- 83 days is not long enough to see the entire country. I don’t know if you could ever see everything! There are so many places I missed or want to go back to because I simply didn’t have enough time. I don’t know how people make cross-country trips in a few weeks – how do you see anything??? I’m going to start making the list of places still to see on this site soon – Amy’s America will continue, just in small spurts from now on. I also plan to see more local sites. All suggestions welcome, as always. And I’ll be sure to write about it all here.
Thank you again, not only to everyone who hosted me or joined me for parts of the trip, but to everyone who joined my journey through this blog. Thank you for your travel tips, site suggestions, caring words and for taking time to read this. At many people’s suggestion, I’ve started writing the movie. Hopefully I can do this trip justice! Wish me luck…
Day 83: Home sweet home
December 1, 2010 by altatwood
It is sooooooooo strange to be home. Well, not so much to be home, since I have been here every now and then during the last 83 days, but to drive home and know that I’m not leaving in the next day or two. Or 10 or 20. Weird. This is going to take some getting used to. But before I jump to the end of the trip, a bit about the last day…
My last night on the road was spent sleeping at my Aunt Robin’s in West Virginia, trying to cram into a few hours as much catching up with her, Isa and Tom, as possible. Going to bed I actually felt like the princess and the pea – the bed was so high, piled up and comfy. Robin’s done a nice job of cleaning up and decorating the house in her own way (which reminds me so much of my mother and my style). In the morning I had breakfast with Grandmama (my mom’s mom) and Ed – and then picked up the cat that I was driving north for my Aunt Kris. As I’ve mentioned, I wasn’t thrilled, but felt it was the right thing to do.
The cat wasn’t bad. It did cry the entire 10 hours (lots of traffic in Connecticut), but I just turned the music up and drowned it out. For those who don’t like country, you may accuse me of cat torture, but I can’t say I cared much. (Sorry.)
It was only a few minutes into the drive that I passed over the state line and into… Maryland. I’d actually forgotten about that state, even though there are several things I like there including the waterfront, antique shops and the Orioles’ stadium. I wasn’t there long, either, as I was soon driving over the Mason-Dixon line and into what I used to think of as the longest state in the world: Pennsylvania. It no longer seems that long, now that I’ve driven through some of the western states!
I would’ve taken a picture of the Mason-Dixon line sign, but it was pouring out. In fact, it was raining almost the entire drive. I passed many barns, trees, fields, animals, that I would have liked to photograph but the rain kept me in my car. Hmmm… am wondering if that was God’s way of protecting me from repeating yesterday’s mistake?
There were so many places I passed that I want to go back to – like Mystic for its seaport, aquarium and pizza. It’s funny how as a teenager Connecticut seemed so far away, and now it seems like it’s just down the street.
It felt strange to drive into Rhode Island – to be so close to home. My Aunt Kris and cousin Ben met me at the mall so I could give them the cat. Can’t say I was sorry to hand it over. Nothing personal, but I have my own at home. I then went to the airport to pick my older brother, Steve, up. He’s flying in to attend our grandmother’s service. So technically he finished the road trip with me, since he was with me as I drove up to the house. (Which was rather nice because he helped me empty 83 days worth of stuff from my car, including Black Friday purchases.) I guess he was the stand-in for Aidan, since Aidan still won’t work. He just sat next to me completely blank. When I told Tina this, she wasn’t surprised and said that’s rather typical of some men.
It feels so weird to call this trip over. So I won’t – especially since it’s not the end. This is just an intermission for a bit more real life. There are so many things I didn’t get a chance to do:
- Sleep in a haunted house.
- Go to a rodeo. (Riding the mechanical bull doesn’t count.)
- Shop on Rodeo Drive.
And so many places I had to skip, and people I still need to visit – especially those on the east coast.
For those wondering about this blog, this isn’t the last entry. As long as there’s an Amy and an America to explore, there will be www.amysamerica.com. I actually started a list in the last few days of what I’ve learned on the trip. It’s not done, so I won’t share it yet, but will post it on here in the next few days. After that, whenever I do travel again – especially those spring/summer weekend trips to make up the end of the official road trip – I will blog about it here.Who knows, I may do some local travel posts, too. Whenever I do blog, I’ll put it on Facebook as I do now, and if you don’t have Facebook, either sign up for the email reminders (on home page see top of column to the right) or just check back here every now and then… thank you very much for reading and taking this journey with me!
Starting to head home on Day 82
November 30, 2010 by altatwood
I’m going home. My grandmother, Maggie’s mom, passed away and my brother Steve and I both want to be there for her. So I have postponed – not canceled – the remainder of my east coast visits and explorations to go straight back to Massachusetts (well, via West Virginia). Trish agrees we can do the Eat. Pray. Love. Charleston. tour in the spring or summer (as do all my other wonderful east coast friends), so her and the kids bid me farewell.
It was a good day for driving – overcast and drizzling off and on. I watched the temperature on the thermometer steadily drop as I drove north. 50…45…42… I drove into North Carolina, by Charlotte (looks pretty cool) and was making good time until traffic came to a standstill – right near
Mount Airy, home of Mayberry and the Andy Griffith Show.
Mount Airy, home of Mayberry and the Andy Griffith Show.
I sat for a while, wondering what the issue was, and grew more aggravated by the minute as my stomach started to growl. I was complaining to my mom on the speakerphone when I thought I spotted a Subway sign at the next exit. She convinced me it was worth stopping for, so I veered off.
I somehow went right past the Subway, but then something else caught my eye: more cows. I heard Tara’s voice in my head, so I had to get a few pictures. I pulled over and told mom to hold on while I hopped out real quick. I snapped a few photos and ran back to the car. Only the door wouldn’t open! The car’s not supposed to be able to lock from the outside with the car on – and it didn’t seem like the lock was all the way down, yet it wouldn’t open. I had no phone, no jacket, nothing but my camera (and cows) – and mom still on speakerphone inside.
I put my face up against the window and yelled, “mom!’ She yelled back, “Amy! Is everything all right? I can’t really hear you!” I tried to yell to her to call AAA but she couldn’t understand me through the glass, so went to get Mark. I just shook my head at the cows, who were staring at me. I was cupping my face to the window, trying to yell to them again when help arrived. His name was Shane, my knight in the white Honda. He offered me his phone, and with my parents still yelling from inside my car, I called Mark’s cell. Luckily he answered the strange number.
Shane helped me explain where we were (intersection of Hwy 21 and Rena Rd.) and Mark called AAA. Once it was confirmed that they would be there in an hour, I thanked Shane and told him I’d be fine. He insisted on staying with me, explaining that he wouldn’t feel right leaving me because ‘rednecks will be stopping and trying to pick you up.’ He was right in a way – people did stop every few minutes to inquire about what was going on – and I appreciated his company. Clearly my car (with its Massachusetts plates) at the side of the road among the cows was the highlight of the day in Jonesville.
We passed time (and tried to forget the cold) chatting about everything from the Red Sox (Shane’s a huge fan – even has a Red Sox screen saver on his phone) and family to work and traveling. He recommended seeing the Biltmore Estate (dubbed America’s largest home) in Asheville when I return to North Carolina. I’ll definitely add it to my list. I’d also forgotten about the Blue Ridge Parkway, which is a wonderfully scenic route. While I had a great time talking to him, my freezing body was very happy when Donny arrived – my knight in the white van. (Two knights in one day – lucky me!)
I thanked Shane and bid him farewell, then waited in Donny’s van (trying to thaw out) as he got my car door open – very quickly, I must add. (Thanks Donny!) I waved to the cows, thinking I was now all set. What I didn’t remember until I got back in the stopped traffic on the highway was that I was running on empty… I almost had to call Donny back to save me again, but luckily inched to the next exit and found a gas station. Phew!
I was so frustrated at the lost two hours (and paranoid about leaving the car) that I only stopped for gas the rest of the way. I made it to Martinsburg, West Virginia, where my grandmother, aunt and family live, by about 8:30 pm. Not bad considering…
Day 81: Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, oh my!
November 29, 2010 by altatwood
My day started off right: I awoke to a blog message from Nick and Alivia, commenting on my itinerary and telling me they’re proud of me. What more could a mom want? I then enjoyed some tea and conversation with Jen’s mom and Mike before getting on the road.
I got in my car, started the engine and … what’s wrong with Aidan??? I tried to push the plug in to the car power outlet and it seemed to be jammed. I pulled it out and realized the whole thing had come undone. Mike and I both put it back together, but there was no making it work. We think it might be the fuse, but we’re not sure. Whatever it is, the fact is, I’m now GPS-less.
Luckily my phone has navigation, so I set my destination (Trish’s house just outside Charleston, South Carolina) in my phone, and then wrote down the directions. I didn’t want to tie my phone up with navigation. It wasn’t long into the journey that I started missing Aidan. I knew I’d be fine with the directions, especially now that I was on the East Coast, driving 95 much of the way – basically home turf.
But he’s more than a GPS. He’s been my co-pilot. (Sad, isn’t it?) I realized that not only does he direct me, he gives me a nudge when I’m starting to zone and reminds me when we’re two miles away from a turn. And when I make a wrong turn, he says ‘when you get a chance, chuck a u-ey.’ And when I ignore him, he yells ‘bugger!’ Quite the personality, my dear Aidan. I’m also missing the count down in miles left to go (under 300 miles, under 200 miles…) and time (less than 5 hours, less than 4 hours…), as well as the reminders about the speed limit, when no road sign is in sight but a police car is. So I’ll try to find a replacement cord when I get a chance, but until then, I have to go it alone.
As I entered Jacksonville, where I stopped for gas and a drink, I was surprised to see live Christmas trees for sale. I don’t know why, but when I think of Florida, I think fake trees, or palm trees. But there they were, just like in the snowy north. Several cars drove away with them on their roofs. And then they stopped. Suddenly we encountered the craziest traffic yet. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be good on 95. There’s tons of construction (as usual) and, what I’d forgotten, it’s Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend. Everyone is travelling for the holiday. Ugh.
I slowly made my way into Georgia, thankful to be just passing through. But then I got to Savannah. My, oh my, everyone was right: I love it! Dad was right, even Scarlett’s Mammy was right. Savannah is the place to be. The old buildings, the waterfront with the riverboats, the artists, the shops, the cobblestone streets – even Nick would have liked it because there’s a Ruth Chris Steakhouse! I spent five minutes taking pictures and got back in my car. I knew any more time would just be more of a tease and I wouldn’t want to leave. I simply need to come back and spend a good few days in Savannah. And I will.
With a smile on my face, filled with a new appreciation of Georgia, I drove on to South Carolina. I arrived at Trish’s house in Summerville, just outside Charleston, and spent a great evening with her family. It was nice to catch up – it’s been way too long since we were in the same room! And I’m really looking forward to seeing Trish’s Charleston. She wrote me the other day: ‘So I was thinking about your whirlwind Eat. Pray. Love. Charleston. tour. I call it that because we will Eat. Charleston is renowned for all of its restaurants and it will be hard to pick just one or two while you’re here. We will Pray, because Charleston is the Holy City with more churches than you can imagine. And you will Love. You will Love Charleston because it’s hard not to fall in love with this city so rich in history.’ I have the feeling she might be right – I can’t wait!
Florida fun – Day 80
November 28, 2010 by altatwood
Driving from my brother’s in Port Charlotte to Orlando on Day 80, it occurred to me that I am not really doing anything touristy in Florida this trip. I feel kind of bad about that, but time just won’t allow it. So to cheer me up, I thought of my favorite things to do here (besides visiting family and friends, of course):
- I have to start with my all time favorite: Disney. I love all things Disney. I seriously would go there every year if I could. Nick and I have visited several years in a row in the past. Sometimes just for a day, combined with other things, other times for a full week stay-and-play vacation. Nick even played basketball there, in the National competition. While I don’t have one absolute favorite site, we all love Epcot and that’s often the winner if we only have a day. Depends on my mood, though, as I sometimes need to be a kid and go to Magic Kingdom, and other times long for the movie magic of Hollywood Studios (MGM).
- We did love going to Universal, too, although that will never beat Disney in my book.
- While I’m on theme parks, we’ve had several fun family trips to Busch Gardens. Less rides, more animals and nature.
- One place I absolutely loved as a kid was the Kennedy Space Center. About the same time, the movie Space Camp came out and I wanted to attend. I’ve outgrown wanting to be an astronaut, but still really want to go back to the Space Center sometime.
- I’ll never forget catching the frisbee that Shamu the whale threw to me at SeaWorld.
- Red Sox spring training, of course.
- Florida beaches, in general, are great. Yes, I think all beaches are wonderful, but Florida has beautiful sand and a great variety of shells.
Those were the top of mind items. I arrived in Orlando to see Mike and Jen (from LA) who are visiting family in Orlando and invited me to stay the night with them. Before turning in for the night I told Mike I was going to write this blog entry and asked him to tell me his favorite Florida places. He kind of snorted and shook his head, grinning. “Florida is my Atlanta,” he said. “Well, bad things don’t really happen when I’m here, but there’s not much I like about it!” Thanks Mike, but that didn’t really help. I guess you’ll have to just take my word that there are plenty of reasons to visit the Sunshine State. Oh yeah – the weather is one of them!
Braving Black Friday on Day 79
November 27, 2010 by altatwood
Yes, Kelli and I were among the crazed shoppers Black Friday morning – and I do mean morning! We set our alarms for 3:30 am and were out the door by 4. Let me tell you: doing this in Florida is a heck of a lot easier than in Massachusetts. Here you can stumble outside in a t-shirt and shorts, where as you need to bundle up in the cold north. When the freezing air hits your face the second you walk out the door, you really just want to turn around and curl back into your warm bed!
Since I explained my system to Kelli, she’s dubbed me a professional Black Friday shopper. You see, I treat it like a military mission. You have absolutely no hope of surviving – let alone success – if you don’t plan carefully and follow it through. Here’s what we do:
- Buy the biggest newspaper with the most ads on Thanksgiving day.
- Allow plenty of time to peruse the papers, looking through each and every ad the first go round. Set aside any with items of interest.
- After you’ve gone through the first time, grab a pen and notebook and make lists. (Note: it helps if you’ve made a list ahead of time of the people you need to buy for. You’re less likely to over spend that way.) For each store, put the store name, the opening sale times and the location. Then list the items on sale in that flier, the sale price and if they’re on sale all day or just certain times.
- At this point, it’s important to know what’s really a good deal. It helps to have people to call and get advice on certain items from. For example, my little brother Jake, the electronics expert. When I saw electronics we were considering, I called or texted Jake and he gave me the low down on if they were a good buy or not and if I could do better elsewhere at another time.
- Cross out any items that aren’t great deals or that you don’t really need – don’t waste your time with them.
- After you’ve done that for every store with items you want (and know what’s worth braving Black Friday for), compare the lists. What is the most important item on any of the lists, the biggest buy? That’s where you need to start. (Note: this is why it’s often better to do Black Friday alone, so you can zoom in on what’s most important to you, unless you both have similar needs. Otherwise, one of you has to be flexible and risk missing the deals you want. I was happy to go with Kelli and simply get what I wanted from those stores, since there weren’t any absolute die-if-I-don’t-get-it items on my list.) Make sure that it’s something that even if you only get that one item, you will feel accomplished and like it was worth going out at that time for. Because it is possible that all the other big items will be gone by the time you get your first item!
- Another factor to consider is location – even if it’s a little further, drive to somewhere that has a lot of the stores you need close together so during those critical early morning opening hours, you’re not wasting time driving.
- Prepare yourself: at least bring a bottle of water, all the sale fliers for the stores you are going to and, of course, your list! (Note: some stores, like Wal-Mart, will price match, so having the other fliers could save you time. But always check with someone in the store before wasting time with that. Some stores change policies for that one day.)
- Don’t forget to clean out your car, too – you’ll need all the space you can get!
- Depending on how important it is to you to get a certain item is how early you need to get there.
Driving into the Target parking lot at 4 am, Kelli was amazed at the throngs of people lined up, wrapping around the building, and the fact that the entire parking lot – and that of the furniture store next door – was full. We decided we’d rather be at Wal-Mart (next door) an hour early and get those more important deals than wait in line at Target.
This Wal-Mart is open 24-hours so people were already inside, waiting in lines by the items, which were mostly on shrink-wrapped pallets and guarded by Wal-Mart associates. On the way to our items of choice (Wii for Kelli and printers for me) we saw some of the other items on our list were already out, so grabbed them as we went. While waiting at the printer, the two Wal-Mart guys entertained us with stories of earlier that morning (some of the Wal-Mart stuff went on sale at midnight). One guy tried to bribe the worker: he kept offering the guy $5 to give him one of the $1 towels a few minutes early. Yes, $5 for a towel on sale for $1 – and the regular price is $3.99! There was also a fist fight that broke out between customers, and a few yelling matches.
People got antsy as the clock approached 5 am. Even though there were clearly more printers than people standing there, some started pestering the poor sales associate. Geesh - be patient people! As soon as the plastic was cut, people dove for them! I reached in, got ours, and got out of the way! The commotion coming from the tons of people by the laptops was crazy – like a concert. It started sounding like an angry mob. Kelli texted me to make sure I was ok and I assured her I wasn’t going anywhere near that! We went around, got the other items on our list (that were still available) and got out.
That’s another important thing: don’t dawdle! Stick to what’s on your list, check out and move on to the next store. The regular stuff will be there another day. This is no time for browsing!
Kelli and I were most impressed with our full (mostly of electronics) carts and the amount of money we saved. K-Mart was next, and after we got what we needed there (by 7 am), we took a few minutes break and had breakfast. We’d already done so much, everything else was simply a bonus. We did forge on, though, back to Target and visiting the mall.
We were home by noon for Steve to nap before work. I took a nap, too, and then went out again. You see, one of the things you have to watch for are stores with afternoon specials, including coupons only good after certain times. JC Penney was one of them ($15 off $75 ). The mall was much less crowded – more like a regular day – and people had calmed down. A much nicer shopping atmosphere!
Was it worth it? Absolutely! I’m almost done with my shopping, and I had a great day out with my sister-in-law. Talk about great girl-bonding! And you can’t beat the weather. I may need to be in Florida for Thanksgiving and Black Friday again next year…
Days 77 and 78: I am so very thankful…
November 25, 2010 by altatwood
I’m spending Thanksgiving in Florida with my older brother Steve and his family. (Nick flew to London to be with Alivia and her family.) Unfortunately, my dad and Maggie had to go to Massachusetts for a family emergency, so they can’t join us, but are certainly here in spirit – as are all our family and friends. Day 77 was spent getting ready for Thanksgiving (Day 78): shopping (including buying a TV over the phone from my other brother, Jake – our own version of Black Friday), baking, doing holiday crafts and generally playing catch-up with Steve, Kelli and the boys. It’s so nice to have so many homes that I feel so comfortable in! It’s just one of the many, many things I am so very thankful for…let me share a few more:
- The most supportive, loving family and friends on earth. The fact that I can travel completely around the country and the majority of the time be welcomed into people’s homes is incredible. I am so blessed. Thank you all.
- Having my own home that can put a roof over the heads of my family and friends whenever they need it (even when I’m not there). I may not love my house but I know how lucky I am to have it and how much it has helped others.
- This incredible opportunity to explore our beautiful country. I never dreamt I’d have the chance to do this, and still can’t believe it. And I’m also thankful for the courage and confidence to do it alone. I know that comes not only from all of my parents, but my son, too.
- My girlfriends who’ve taken parts of this physical trip with me, but practically all of the emotional journey, by phone, text and e-mail. Thank you for being with me through all the crazy highs and tragic lows, understanding me as I blubber through the tears, reminding me where home is and what’s really important. And for pointing out that the man I thought was Rhett is really Ashley and it’s time to move on. (I’m trying – honestly.)
- All my parents for supporting me and (deep down) understanding my need to go on this journey, even if they don’t always agree with every aspect of it, and worry every mile I drive.
- My three fabulous god-daughters, all my nephews, little cousins and friends’ children – all the little ones who make each day an adventure when seen through their eyes! And that we’ll soon have more loved ones, thanks to several of my family and friends who are expecting babies this coming year. They are miracles to be cherished. I can’t wait!
- I am most thankful every single day that God knew exactly what I needed nearly 20 years ago when he gave me smiley Nicholas George. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. And every day he makes me smile, challenges me and encourages me to push myself. I’m so proud of the man you’re becoming, Nicko, and love you with all my heart.
Day 76: Florida, the loooooooooongest state …
November 24, 2010 by altatwood
Eight hours (not counting stops for gas, food and stretching), 580 miles. All in one state – and I didn’t even drive all the way to the bottom! I really need to remind myself to download another audio book before the next epic drive commences. I have practically every word of every current country song down pat – and practiced several 80s tunes, too (you never forget the words to those – even the ones you hate).
I considered stopping and exploring some of the state parks along the way (Dan recommended some good ones), but my sister-in-law Kelli called and informed me that Hudson and Holden (my nephews) were anxiously awaiting my arrival and would stay up until I got there. I simply couldn’t elongate the journey any more. I didn’t want to torture poor Kelli by having them up too late!
So I had lots of thinking and planning time. I’ve now pretty much reached the east coast, which essentially is home. And for the most part the states there are somewhat easily accessible (at least in comparison to the rest of the country). But I don’t want to just cut the road trip short, beeline it up the coast and bring the trip to an abrupt end. I’ve already done the Miami to Massachusetts 24-hour straight drive when I flew down a few years ago to drive back with Alicia when she was moving home. And that is not a fun non-stop trip. (Never mind the fact that I’m doing it alone.) So even if I don’t dawdle and sight see much, there are still many people I want to visit before I call the trip complete.
I admit I’m eager to get home. I want to get ready for the holidays, and am especially looking forward to our baking and decorating day with all the family/friend kids. (Nick still puts the first ornament on the tree but pretty much stops there, so a few years ago I started having my god-daughters over to decorate it for me and the tradition has grown from there. This year it’s all out holiday decorating and baking with all the kids who want to join in!) And I also know it’s going to continue to get colder the later in the year it gets and the further north I drive.
So I think I’ll just make one last amendment to the itinerary. I’ll proceed as planned as far as Gram’s and Aunt Robin’s in West Virginia, but will go straight home from there. (That also allows me to bring the cat mom wants from West Virginia to Massachusetts. I’m not happy about it, but know it’s the right thing to do.) So it’s just Philadelphia and New York that I’ll skip and I’ll make sure to do them this spring or summer. And actually, I already did New York, so it’s really only Philly I’ll miss.
After determining that, I felt somewhat accomplished and went back to my singing. (I’m sorry, but there’s really no need to play Martika’s Toy Soldiers more than once every few days. It wasn’t even that big of a hit in the 80s.) I also amused myself by watching the scenery – Tara will be happy I saw more cows, but sorry I didn’t have time to stop for pictures – and by reading the billboards. I laughed out loud at the Cafe Risque (‘We Bare All’) signs for the 24-hour adult toy store. Tara and I are always saying we need 24-hour malls, restaurants and gyms, but hadn’t thought of that one. And it’s right next to the ‘Boots and Guns’ store. Wonder if that’s 24/7 too? Of course sprinkled between these are the ‘Prayer Works’ signs and the anti-abortion ads. (Did you know a baby’s heart is beating 18 days after conception? The things you learn from billboards.) By the way, if you’re looking for a field, there are 146 acres available in central Florida. Simply visit www.buymyfield.com. You only get one guess where I learned that…
Day 75: Blue water, sky, herring and angels!
November 23, 2010 by altatwood
Talk about easing myself back into the road trip! Day 75 was one of the most relaxing, peaceful days yet. After sleeping in a bit, we (well, I should say Dan) packed a cooler and we drove down to the water. We launched his little boat into Escambia Bay and took it to White Island (he called it Fantasy Island, but I didn’t see any little men jumping around screaming ‘de plane, de plane’) in Bayou Grande.
The little island reminded me of the small deserted islands my dad and Maggie used to take me and my brother to when we were young. Beautiful white sand, clear blue water, patches of palm trees and shells galore. It also reminded me of the time my 11 year-old brother took me out in the row boat and threatened to leave me off at a buoy in the middle of the ocean. When I told Dan that he said he could call my brother and offer to finish the job for him, but I told him that he is also the same brother that called that morning to yell at me for going to a strange guy’s house and warned to be careful. I guess I’ve grown on him…
We set off to explore our little island and made numerous friends along the way: Harry, the blue herring, Pedro the pelican, Sandy the sandpiper (and gang), Winnie the (plastic) horse and Frank the pink flamingo. Oh, wait, Frank is at Dan’s house, as now is Winnie. We left the rest peacefully in their natural habitat. I admit I did take a few shells, though, but only ones that no creatures were using as homes.
The island quiet was shattered by a sudden thunder: out of nowhere, some of the Blue Angels appeared! They’re the awesome Navy planes that do incredible flight shows. I forgot they’re based in Pensacola. We saw a few different ones fly by. It was great – seeing them is always a thrill.
After a brief siesta on the warm sand, we finished our tour of the island and set off for a ride around the bay. We lucked out as we got back to the boat landing just as the rain began – then drove right toward a rainbow. I wanted to go find the pot of gold, but Dan assured me it’s not in Pensacola. We did see a bunch of money that night, though: it was hanging all over the ceiling at McGuire’s Irish Pub, where we had an incredible dinner. A definite must-stop if you’re ever in Pensacola. Go hungry!
Day 74: The beginning of the end
November 22, 2010 by altatwood
Can I just say how nice it was to be home? It was a quick trip, with lots on the agenda, so I didn’t get to see everyone, do anything around the house or just chill at home, but it was great anyway. It also confirmed that it is indeed time to wrap this adventure up.
Day 74 was the first day of the final leg of the trip. I flew back to Atlanta to join back up with Holly (my Volvo) and Aidan (my GPS), and we high-tailed it out of Atlanta as fast as we could. Didn’t want any negative vibes to get me off on the wrong foot (wheel?)! Soon I was in beautiful Alabama – have to stop and spend some real time there someday – and just a few hours later was entering Florida, the sunshine state. Of course, by then the sky was dark and only the full moon was shining but hopefully I’ll see some sun over the next few days. (Wish I could bottle it and bring it back up north – talk about a fabulous Christmas present!)
I had a lot of thinking time between the plane and Pensacola, Florida. And there was an article in Delta’s Sky magazine that provided additional food for thought. Deepak Chopra and Russell Simmons discussed happiness as the key too life. I agree with much of what they said, but what really stuck with me was Deepak quoting someone else:
- The most important time in life is now.
- The most important person is the one you’re with right now.
- The most important way to create the future is to act with awareness right now.
Put that together with the ‘pay it forward’ notion and doing good unto others as you’d have done unto you, and I think you have the recipe for being happy. It certainly put me in the right frame of mind.
One of the best things about this last part is that virtually every stop is to see friends or family and catch up with people I haven’t seen in way too long. I know it will make the next couple of weeks fly by. In the case of this first stop, it’s to catch up with someone I’ve never spoken to: Dan, a friend of Delanie’s. She knew I was heading south after Atlanta, and needed a guaranteed better stop after the disappointment of Atlanta. Dan is a fellow traveler and lives by the water in Pensacola – stop there and get back on track. Why not?
A free spirit, Dan goes where the wind blows him. And usually alone, so he wasn’t the least surprised by my solo journey. His house has reminders of his travels everywhere – framed currency from around the world, shells collected from numerous beaches, world music CDs playing. It was a relaxing evening, complete with a walk on the beach (the water now is still warmer than the Cape in August). Delanie was right – a good way to start the end of the trip.
Day 70: Boston rules
November 18, 2010 by altatwood
I still can’t get the smile off my face. It began at the first sight of land out the plane window. Boston. We even arrived early. Take that, Atlanta!
My son sidetracked me the moment I arrived. He said he couldn’t wait to see me, but would hate for me to have to drive all the way to Salem and back after all my traveling. How about meeting at the Celtics game, a nice halfway point? I took the bait and treated him to the night out. I was just so happy to see him!
Before the game I wandered the city a bit, soaking in the sights and smells. Yes, good smells – roasted nuts, fresh-baked waffle cones, popcorn. Just the sight of vendors with all the Boston hats and t-shirts made me grin. And to be back in a city that it’s easy to get around, either by foot or subway (the T), made me giddy.
There’s just such a pride in this city. We love our history, our schools and especially our teams. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the Garden for a Celtics game and it was even more exciting tonight because my favorite player, Shaq, is now in green.
Nick had found great seats in a box with free food and drinks – practically worth the price of the tickets for that alone. We chanted, cheered and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the game. A great mother-son night out. Of course it helped that they won by more than 20 points. My only disappointment was that I didn’t have my Nikon zoom (I left it in the trunk in Atlanta), but my little compact Panasonic Lumix did pretty well (see slideshow).
As we left, Nick and I soon had to part ways as his Salem train left from North Station and my Franklin Line train left from South Station. He threw his arm around me and, with a slow grin, said, “So, we meeting up again Friday night? Same time and place? They’re playing the Thunder…” I simply laughed and said “Good try. I’ll pick you up at school and bring you home for the weekend.” He shrugged, gave me a big hug and said, “Hey, a guy’s got to try. Thanks for tonight. Love you mom.” And off he went. Ah, it’s so good to be home.
Note: The next few days will be consumed with home and work stuff, so there won’t be any blog entries until I’m back on the road on Sunday, Day 74.
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