The Life and Death of an Unknown Celebrity-Prologue
Beautiful green eyes, thick, shoulder-length dark brown hair and a very warm, cheeky smile. I could begin to describe Sarah like this. I could say she was 5 foot 8, which she always claimed was tall for a girl. She had lovely soft skin covering her perfect figure. Sarah used to say that her breasts were her best assets as they were the perfect size. They were to her what Baby Bear’s porridge was to Goldilocks: just right. She had killer pins, too. Her feet were a bit hobbit-looking, which meant she had to wear ugly shoes during her childhood as her feet were too wide for fashionable ones at the time. I still loved her even with this slight imperfection.
Now if I were to say beautiful green eyes, bald head, one breast, a large scar across her stomach, small scars on the back of her hands from too many injections, puffy complexion, swollen fingers resulting in removal of wedding ring, I would be painting a completely different picture – but she is still perfect. She is still my Sarah, my wife and mother of our two children and she is still very much alive. Did I mention her wide feet and how much I love them?
I should have said Sarah was selfless, brave, thoughtful, caring, funny and intelligent because no matter how one looks, these qualities remain consistent. This is what makes somebody your soulmate. You need to get under the shell. Sadly the shell dies, whereas the soul cannot. It becomes part of the person they chose to share it with.
In 2006, a week away from Sarah’s thirty-third birthday, a lump discovered in her right breast a month earlier turned out not to be a blocked milk duct as first thought but devastating, life-changing news in the form of breast cancer. This day also happened to be our daughter’s first birthday. Our son had recently turned four. I had been busy preparing my wife’s birthday present, which was a CD titled The Best Thirty-third Birthday Album in the World Ever. Talk about ironic! This was to include our wedding song by Moloko calledThe Time is Now and many other favourite songs of ours from our thirteen years together.
Many people do survive cancer. Many people spend their lives fighting it and others have to say goodbye too soon. On 20 March 2009 my worry about becoming a single father of two became a reality as I had to say goodbye to my wife, best friend and soulmate. Just two days later Jade Goody’s family were doing the same. Jade was made famous after appearing on a reality TV show. Sarah was celebrated by me but unknown to the public. Jade’s story overshadowed ours and was also a constant reminder that heightened my grief. Unfortunately people are dying of cancer every day, leaving husbands, wives, parents, siblings and children to cope with their loss.
My individual loss is monumental. My whole future was immediately altered and a long list of dreams were shattered. I cannot begin to explain what I have lost and the enormity of it. What I can do is explain what I have gained and learned from my loss and how I have dealt with it and remained positive. Not only was Sarah very much prepared for her death, but she also prepared me for my life after her death. I couldn’t begin to be a successful single father without her and whilst I am without her, she is never far away. Sarah is the unknown celebrity.
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