As a member of a palliative care team, my only goal at the beginning is to get to know the person behind the illness and the context of that person’s life. What does her family look like and how do they communicate? What drives her and what makes her passionate? What brings her joy and of what is she most afraid? Does she understand her illness or is there something that I can help her to understand better. Has she picked someone to make medical decisions for her in case she someday loses the ability to communicate and, more importantly, has she talked to that person about what she would want?
We are all going to die someday and, unfortunately, less than 10% of us will die suddenly. Many of us will have a period of increasing disability prior to our deaths. In that case, the best gift that we can give our families is to tell them what we want, what gives us joy and when, concretely, we would want to stop prolonging our life (to say things like, “if I can no longer go outside and enjoy my garden I wouldn’t want to go on.”). Our team seeks to help people give their families such a gift.
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