Cancer Doctor, Wife Describe First-hand Experience as Caregiver and Survivor – AUDIO
Richard Boulay, MD
Gynecologic oncology
Gynecologic oncology
A cancer diagnosis doesn’t need to mean “the end.” Richard Boulay, MD, is working to change the conversation about this disease away from doom, to focus on the possibilities of life despite cancer.
When his wife was diagnosed with leukemia at age 45, Boulay, chief of the division of gynecologic oncology at Lehigh Valley Health Network, learned about this first-hand.
Boulay and Julie Bolton, whose daughters were 13 and 9 at the time of Bolton’s diagnosis, have learned ways to help cancer survivors and their caregivers be positive and cope. They shared their story on the Jan. 6 radio program “Take Charge of Your Life,” hosted by Eleanor Bobrow on WDIY FM 88.1. You can listen to the half-hour show here.
In the segment, Boulay says he hadn’t felt the depth of what his patients were experiencing until his wife was the patient. “When you feel that breath sucked out of you, when you don’t know what to say, when the huge room that you’re in feels like it’s closing in on you – it’s really hard to describe, truly at a deep visceral level, how that feels.”
Expressing feelings was a challenge for both of them.
“I had to really say, ‘It’s OK for me to be scared today. This, too, shall pass. Tomorrow’s another day. I will work my way out of this feeling into a different feeling,’” Bolton says. And she admits she wasn’t good at telling her husband what she needed or wanted. “I expected him to guess.”
For Boulay, it was hard being unable to “fix” this, and talking about how he felt wasn’t easy.
They say it was difficult, at first, to accept people’s offers to help, and they emphasize the importance of being honest with family and friends. Bolton also touches on her spiritual approach to her cancer journey.
Boulay encourages fellow survivors and caregivers to use knowledge to improve their negative outlook.
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